It has surpised me how much over the past few years the conversation of hospitality has come up. It doesn’t matter who I have been with (church friends, work friends, family, etc.), I have been in many discussions about this topic and how it’s slowly become so unimportant. The fact that hospitality is a lost art should scare us. The fact that hospitality is a biblical command for women and that we are not taking this commandment seriously should scare us even more. As wives , we have become so self-consumed with our own “busyness” that we fail to fulfill our biblical mandate to keep the house and to show hospitality. The Bible says that we are to “have a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work (1 Timothy 5:10).”
Even though I wasn’t taught as a young girl to cook, I knew that I always wanted to be a wife that was able to cook well, keep a clean house, and have people over regularly. Now I bet you might be wondering “why would you want to have people over regularly - wouldn’t you get tired of that?” Yes, sometimes you do but the Bible tells us in Romans 12 that we are to “Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.” And honestly, I never wanted to cook well and keep a good house because the Bible commanded it. I simply wanted my husband to think I was a good wife! Although I still want him to think that I’m a good wife, I now have a higher calling to be faithful in the area of hospitality because of Jesus. It wasn’t until I came under the authority of Jesus that I realized just how big of a role this is and how significant the biblical commands are for it. Now knowing the importance of this command, I often look to the book of Proverbs - specifically to Proverbs 31 - to guide me in the direction of being a Godly woman for my husband, family, and household even when I don’t feel like it.
Proverbs 31:10-29
10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.
16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
29 "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
I went with a group of women from church to the Truewomen Conference in Fort Worth last weekend. One of the breakout sessions we attended was taught by Devi Titus on hospitality and its biblical importance.
The first things she pointed out are the necessary qualifications of an elder (and therefore his wife) from 1 Timothy 3:2 -
1. Husband of one wife
2. Hospitable
This means as wives we must make sure that our husbands only ever have one wife, so we do everything we know to do to fulfill our biblical roles as wives to satisfy our husbands and to keep them happy. The second is that we are to show hospitality to any and everyone.
She says hospitality is supposed to be expressed toward two sets of people:
1. Church and family
2. People you don’t know
The natural reaction of most is that they would never want or even consider inviting a stranger into their house because it is uncomfortable and we know from experience in our own home that it can be. :) BUT practice makes perfect and we do it because in Hebrews 13:2 it says “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”
I think the point Devi drove home best was why hospitality and making time to eat dinner together as a familyis so very important. She reminded us of Proverbs 9:2 “She has prepared her meat and mixed her wine; she has also set her table.” She said that it is wise for you (women) to think ahead about how you are going to eat together with your family. Devi believes strongly that home and the dinner table are where the human heart is formed and you are to do whatever it takes to share that time with your family. And even if you don’t have time to cook, you pick food up and eat together! She says that “mealtime is what seals human hearts together, thus forming a family that is closely bonded.” The dinner table is a very important time for you to connect with your husband and children. If this time is not set aside, your family is missing the time that they need to connect with one another and to share life together. This sounds strongly stated but making time to sit down to dinner together with family and friends is a time to stop the busyness of life and to relate to one another on a deeper level. And everyone knows that the best conversations and the best ways to get to know people are over a table of food! :)
Devi Titus has written a couple of books on the biblical importance of hospitality and has some very practical ways for you to learn how to keep your house as a woman. These are great books and I would strongly recommend them if you are interested!
Click here to view her books on Amazon.
